Your Ego May Be Costing You

Last month I wrote how my last book "Think Yourself Slim" has been taken off the market. While I had done my homework and checked on the Internet and with a bookshop that there was no other book of this title, I still came undone.

In fact, I was surprised that a fellow author was able to Trademark a book title similar to mine 6 months after mine was released. I was also surprised the Trademark people had allowed him to Trademark a book title - especially when their guidelines say you are only allowed to Trademark a book title if it is like a "Harry Potter" with other merchandise attached to the name. This other author is not a "Harry Potter".

The Trademark guidelines also states you are not allowed to Trademark common words. I would have thought "Think", "Yourself" and "Slim" were common words!

While I spent a lot of money fighting this, I reached a point where I had to make a decision on whether I kept going. It became a ‘this author' versus ‘me' battle and I see they weren't about to give in.

So, why am I telling you?

Good question!

Have you ever been in a ‘battle' with someone? It may be a relative or a friend. It may be a business - like a shop where you have purchased something.

You are at loggerheads with this person/business because you think you are right and they are wrong. You may have purchased something from a business and they refuse to exchange it. A family member may have taken something they are not entitled to or done something you don't agree with.

The battle can become nasty. It is ‘tick-for-tack'. You may even say "I'm not going to give in. I don't care what it takes, they're not going to win. I know I'm right".

In my personal coaching business, I have seen relationships and friendships destroyed over the need to win the battle. I have seen people lose a lot of money (and, on many occasions, their health) because they refused to concede. This is particularly true when relationships break-up.

Their ego became so BIG, it was ‘win at all costs' - and there generally is a cost. A well-known phrase that best describes this is "You win the war but lost the battle". So, even if you win, you still lose. It's still going to cost you in some way.

Many a couple going through divorce have lost everything because of their need to win at all costs. The only people who have won are the solicitors and the real estate people.

In my personal example, I placed a ceiling on the amount of money I was prepared to spend. I knew, whatever I spent, I would not get back - regardless of whether I won or lost. It was gone forever to my solicitors. I knew the same held true for this other author.

When the time arrived and I had to cough up thousands of more dollars, I knew I could release a new book for this new sum and have some money left over. I wasn't attached to the title, and, the more I tested other titles, the more convinced I was that it was time to concede.

I wish the other author well and I am now on a new journey.

Do you know when to pull out of the battle?

Do you know when it is time to say "Enough is enough"? It takes a far bigger person to concede, knowing they will eventually ‘win'. The cost of the lost money and your health is not worth the satisfaction of saying "I won but lost everything that is important to me".

Your ego can get you into a lot of trouble.

Develop the ability to know when to let go.