Everyone Experiences Depression

Research shows more and more young children are being prescribed antidepressants.

Is this a concern or are people taking the easy way out?

One thing I do know, people on antidepressants seldom look at the cause of their depression. This means they do not have the ability (the life skills) to deal with the situation. The problems will thus persist.

Statistics show around one in four people will suffer from depression. For this to be a statistic, these are the people who have sought help and been placed on medication.

Think of how many people suffer in silence. From what I know of depression (from personally having experienced it and from helping people overcome it), every person will experience depression at some time in their life. Most of these will not seek help and will try and work their way through it.

If they do, great. If they don't, there is a chance things will get worse and they may even develop suicidal thoughts.

While there are a lot of definitions of depression, mine is simple. Depression is having a problem to which there is no solution.

Some common examples are:
The loss of a loved one - either through death or a relationship break-up. You want the person back but it is not going to happen.

Financial problems. Your expenses are greater than your income and you see no way of changing this.

Loss of job. You do not have a job and are unable to get one. As the pennies dry up, you need a job but it is not happening.

Being teased. When you are being teased or bullied, it is difficult to find a satisfactory solution.

Poor marks. With the Year 12 final exams approaching, many students become depressed because they haven't done the study and fear they will fail. They feel they have left their run too late and think no amount of study is going to fix the problem.

Suffering from some debilitating illness. You may be in constant pain, suffer from anxiety or panic attacks or suffer from some fear that stops you from enjoying life - like claustrophobia or agoraphobia. You may even have a complaint you can't get rid of or a terminal illness.

Stuck in a situation. You may be in a relationship or job that you intensely dislike and feel you are in a no-win situation. You don't want to stay but feel you can't get out.

You can probably think of many other examples.

So, how many people experience these problems and others? Everyone, at some point in their life.

All of the above put you in a no-win situation. You feel like you are "going in circles", "chasing your tail", "beating your head against a brick wall". While there is no solution, you feel down and may become frustrated, angry and tired. You may feel a sense of hopelessness and associated symptoms. As things become worse, you begin to spiral in a downwards direction.

The further down you go, the blacker things appear to be. This is why depression is often referred to as "the black hole".

There are different depths of depression, from light to deep. The deeper you go, the more work you have to do to get out (and the harder it can be).

Sometimes one event may cause depression; sometimes there are many. I often consult with clients who say "I feel depressed and I don't know why". This often means there is not one thing that stands out. Once we identify all the problems in that person's life that do not have a solution, we begin to see how the depression begins to add up. In other words, one thing by itself is not a problem; five things added together are.

Sometimes things like poor self esteem (hating yourself) and a lack of purpose or direction in life are the cause. Or it may be you have very high expectations of yourself and you are not achieving the result you want.

If you find you are suffering an emotional "down" feeling, identify all your problems that do not have a solution. If you are unable to find a solution, it is important to seek professional help.

If you are having problems with this, please feel free to contact us at clive@clivemurphy.com or give us a call on 02 6921 6373 (or +61 2 6921 6373 for overseas callers).

I Need Your Help

Two of my speciality topics are self esteem and confidence. I have come from having zero of each and have discovered a way to gain both very very quickly. All the counselling and self help books I read had little effect. I embarked on a course to help myself.

And I did. What I discovered changed my life - and almost instantly. I applied my concept to helping others deal with such problems as depression, drug abuse, violence, weight disorders, obsessive compulsive problems, anxiety and feeling a victim. The results, in most cases, have been amazing. So much so that I have decided to make it available to a bigger audience.

I'm about to put together a new product relating to self esteem and confidence. To ensure I help people in the best possible way, I need your help.

If you could spend five minutes with me and ask any two questions on this topic, what would they be? What information would you most like to know about self esteem and confidence that could help you or a loved one?

Send me an email at clive@clivemurphy.com

Thank you for your help.

Change, the Way of Today

How do you go when things have to change?

Are you able to embrace it or do you resist it?

This may be change associated with work, with Government or it may be associated with the purchase of some technical equipment - like a new computer or television. Change may involve a new way of doing something (like changing a golf swing or the night the bins are put out to be collected), a belief (like changing the way you think about something) or it may be a forced change (like something new at work or an imposed tax).

Embracing change is one of the more popular topics businesses are now asking me to speak to their team about.

From what I see, most people resist change to some degree. It means going outside their comfort zone to do something they are not comfortable with. When this occurs, they may:

• Avoid change
  
• Hope it goes away
  
• Hope it doesn't last and things return to the way they used to be
  
• Question it - "Why do I have to do it?"
  
• Reluctantly do it
  
• Complain about it
  
• Stuff up - so they don't have to do it
  
• Hope someone else does it

The fact is, the world is changing an ever-increasing rate. We can't stop that. We have a choice whether we keep up or fall behind.

Thank about:

• How many people owned a computer in 1990, 2000 and today.
  
• Who used the Internet in 1996? Today?
  
• How many people had a mobile phone in 1990? Today?

Change involves going from the "known" to the "unknown". Going into the unknown often involves fear - the fear that the new change will not work, that you will come out worse in some way.

To combat the unknown, see if you can make it known. Research that new job or business to ensure you will like it and it stands an excellent chance of working out. Research that new home to ensure you will like it and you are not buying solely on emotion.

Accept what has to be and make it work for you. As I said in a past newsletter, when a situation arises that you do not like, you have some choices:

• embrace it and make it work for you (make the best of what you have),
  
• change it so you are happy (good luck in changing it!) or
  
• let it work against you (resist it).

When the Government introduces a new fee or work introduces a new work practice - think about your choices. If you fear you are going to be worse off, research it to see if you will be. If you are, back to your three choices.

Change is here to stay. Will you embrace it, ignore it or resist it?

If you would like any help in this area, please feel free to contact us.