Stubborn is defined as "performed or carried on in an unyielding, obstinate, or persistent manner".
When stubborn people make up their mind, it is made up and nothing will change it. This becomes interesting when two stubborn people have to sort out a problem when they have different points of view. The result is one good argument - with neither willing to give in or change.
Should we have to give in or change?
You're thoughts are your thoughts - and you have to be accountable for them. If you are living by yourself, you can afford to get your own way all the time.
The problem is, your way may not necessarily be the best way.
People who are stubborn only "see what they want to see". They are locked in to a certain outcome. So ...
Why Are People Stubborn?
The thing to remember, people do things because they consciously or unconsciously gain a benefit.
There is a benefit to being stubborn. One is, it keeps the person "emotionally safe". They feel good with what they believe and to change it will produce some emotional pain. It may be the fact that, if they change and it doesn't work out, they are seen to be wrong - and hate being wrong. Therefore, they always have to be right. This can also make them feel in control.
To be right - and to feel good - they stick to what they know.
One common example I see is with a husband and wife discussing the best way parent. Both can believe they have the best way and are not willing to look at alternatives. While they focus on what is best for themselves and are in conflict, they are not working on what is best for the child.
Where in life do you have to get your own way?
Is it when discussing things with your partner or at work?
Decide whether getting your own way is in your best interest.
The ultimate is to let others have their say and recognise their beliefs are their beliefs. Respect them. Their beliefs do not have to be yours. Be clear on your beliefs. Where you have different beliefs and need to find an outcome, brainstorm all possibilities so you can achieve the best result.
Stubborn people seldom learn new things. In order to learn, it is important to embrace new ideas. Go with the flow.
