Words That Reveal What You Think

One of the questions I ask many of my clients is:

"What are your good points?"

While the most common response is "Oh, I don't know. I haven't got many", some do come up with a few.

What I notice is how they describe themselves.

"I suppose I'm a kind person".
"I think I'm a good worker".
"I believe I'm good to others".

What's wrong with these descriptions?

There are two major problems. I'll cover one now and one in the next newsletter.

The first problem is the 2nd word to each sentence.

Here are four words:

Hope
Think
Believe
Know

... And you can place "Suppose" up the top there.

Of the above four words, which one is the most important?

Let me give you an example. Imagine I owe you $5,000. Which statement would you prefer to hear?

"I hope I can pay you back"
"I think I can pay you back"
"I believe I can pay you back"
"I know I can pay you back"

Obviously, the last one.

It is definite, certain. The higher we go up the list, the more uncertain things become. "I hope I can pay you back" is very uncertain whereas "I think I can pay you back" is more certain.

What you say describes what you are thinking.

"I think I'm a good person" reveals you are very uncertain about this. "I know I'm a good person" is total certainty.

The same applies to when you, or another person, says things like "I think I can do it", "I hope I can make that appointment" and "I believe that's right".

Action Plan

Become aware of when you use hope, think, believe and know. Change what you say to "I know ..." or to making a statement that involves certainty.

If someone else is using uncertain words, ask them what part they are unsure of or what has to happen for it to become certain. For example, when someone says "I think I can do it", you know they are very doubtful. To overcome this, you may like to ask "What part are you unsure of?" to gain some clarity.

Good luck and let us know your thoughts.