In my last newsletter, I wrote about how words reveal what you and others are thinking. If you missed it, you can read it here - "Words That Reveal What You Think".
When I ask clients to list their good traits, they often say:
"I suppose I'm a kind person".
"I think I'm a good worker".
"I believe I'm good to others".
What's wrong with these descriptions?
There are two major problems.
I covered one problem in the last newsletter - being the 2nd word in each sentence.
Can you spot the second problem?
The description is vague.
When people say "I'm a good person", I ask "In what way?"
They mostly respond with "I don't know! I just am".
This means they have come up with a good meaning word ("good") to describe themselves but have no idea what that word means.
Result: they are trying to convince themselves they are a good person.
It's easy to say "I'm a good person" or "I'm a good worker" and it will most likely impress others. Problem is, by impressing others, they are trying to impress themselves.
This also applies when clients describe what they love about their partner in a relationship.
When asked what they like, the common response is "They're great".
"I don't know what you mean by ‘great'. Can you please define it?"
"Umm. You know. They're really nice".
It's important to know - specifically - why they are nice.
Action Plan
Define what a "good person", a "good worker" or a "kind person" is.
What are their traits? Be very specific.
Once you know your definition of a "good person", then the statement "I am a good person" means everything to you.
Here's some homework:
- What sort of person are you? How would you describe yourself?
- What are your good traits? Make a list.
I'll cover how to be a great person in the next newsletter.
Good luck.
No comments:
Post a Comment