Do You Listen To Others?

I recently watched an interview with Sonny Bill Williams - a 22 year old who has been in the news in Australia for breaking a 5-year contract to a team in Sydney to play another code of football in France (for a lot more money).

While I think Sonny Bill is a great player, I can't help but think he is confused and has been listening to another well-known ex-player who is renowned for controversy. The reason I say this is because:
(i) much of what Sonny Bill said in the interview were the words and tone this ex-player uses.
(ii) he says he loves rugby league more than anything else yet he has left it and will be unable to return to it at the highest level. Why would you leave something you truly love when there are other options?
(iii) he appeared confused when asked about the reasons he left.

There are a lot of reasons why I think he is confused - they are not the focus of this article.

While I like Sonny Bill, I'm wondering how "worldly" one can be when making life decisions at 22 years of age.

This got me thinking about how many people do something similar. In other words, do they get the help that is best for them?

Jane, I'd like to take this concept and relate it to your life.

Do you listen to the advice others give you without question?

Do you tell others what they should be doing?

For example, "I would buy that if I was you" and "Go get another job".

Just as you can tell others what they should be doing, others can be telling you what to do. I often hear clients tell me that a relative or another professional has told them to leave their partner because they are not happy in that relationship or their partner has had an affair.

People often take the advice because they don't want to disappoint the advisor.

When people give advice, they do so with the aim of helping. The problem is, the advice they give is what they would do in that situation. And lets face it, it's easy to tell someone else what to do.

Many of the people I consult are happy to give advice but, when they are in a similar situation, they fail to take their own advice.

If you would like to help someone, let go of the need to tell them what to do. Instead, give them options.

As an example, when someone consults with me because their partner has had an affair, I ask them what is their ideal result. If they don't know, I give them possible options. If they want to stay with their partner, we discuss ways to make this happen.

It is important that the client's needs are met. It is important that whoever you are trying to help is able to make the best decision for them. Your role is not to make that decision; it is to help them make that decision.

If you have to do what others say without question, I would suggest you feel a little insecure and have a big need to impress them. It is important for you to make a decision that is right for you. Gather all the information you can - perhaps through asking others - to help you make the best decision. Remember, what others say is what they would do in that situation - and this may not be what you would like to do.