For most people, this will be true. The way they think and do things today is the way they will think and do things tomorrow. Nothing will change because they are not interested in changing.
A person who tells lies today will tell lies tomorrow.
A person who is unfaithful today will be unfaithful tomorrow.
A person who is angry today will be angry tomorrow.
Their thinking remains the same.
As a well known saying goes: the best way to predict a person's actions tomorrow is on their actions today. In other words, what you get today is what you are going to get tomorrow.
I often consult with someone for marriage counselling who says: "I knew he had these bad habits but I thought I could change him. I thought once we were married and had children, he would be different".
Wrong.
Does this mean people will never change?
No. People will change so long as there is a need for them to change.
They will change for two basics reasons:
(i) there is pleasure to be gained in making the change, or
(ii) they will be worse off or suffer pain if they don't change.
I am committed to being the best I can so am regularly looking for new ways to help myself and others. The pleasure I gain from making the change is so good I am happy to do it.
On the other hand, back in my "darker days", when a relationship was failing I would do anything just to pacify my partner. I made any changes she wanted because I didn't want to experience the pain of rejection. I reached a point after many rejections and hitting rock bottom where I changed the way I thought and the way I did things to avoid any more pain.
As Julie will testify, I am a lot different today to what I was 10 years ago.
The past does not have to equal the future.
You can change - if you want to.
Be committed to constantly improving the person you are.
If you are having trouble with changing, please get in contact with us.
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