What's One of the Best Traits To Possess?

Let me explain this through using some examples.

Penny found out her husband was having an affair and he wanted to leave her for this other woman. She was devastated.

What's the real cause of her feeling devastated?

Jim was angry. He had been working on a project his client had requested for two weeks and now his client refused to purchase it.

What's the real cause of his anger?

While you may say "Rejection" for Penny and "Anger" or "not feeling in control" for Jim, you are partially right.

From working with many thousands of clients for over 22 years, I have come to the conclusion nearly every problem we experience comes back to one thing:

A lack of self-belief.

This also means a lack of self-love, self worth and self-esteem.

Other every day examples include:

The bully lacks self-esteem - that's why he/she has to control and put another down.

The victim lacks self-esteem - he/she reacts to the bully and sees themselves as the victim.

The stubborn person lacks self-esteem - things have to work out their way for them to feel good. If they don't work out, they feel emotionally down.

The person who fails to stand up for themselves (including the ‘people pleaser') lacks self-esteem.

There's an Old Saying

"You can only give what you have got".

Most people say they have a lot to give - and they have, so long as they receive it first.

If you are not happy, you need something or someone to make you happy. Once you have the happiness, you are free to give it.

This also applies to love. People feel loved when someone loves them. When they feel this love, they are then able to give it.

However, if the person stops loving them, they feel rejected.

Here's the Solution

You can only give the love you have for you.

When you feel totally loved by you, you now have a lot to give - and importantly, you can now give it unconditionally.

Unconditional love means giving without wanting or needing anything back in return.

When you are self-fulfilled, you have all the love you need so anything you receive from another is a bonus. While you don't need it, it is great to have.

Penny now realizes her ex-husband has not taken all the love - she still has love for herself - and, importantly, she sees him leaving as his loss.

Jim is no longer angry as he takes control of how he feels. His happiness was dependent on the client buying, rather than coming from within. He will now learn from what has happened and develop a new way of dealing with clients - sometimes it is important to learn what doesn't work so you can implement what does work!

The bully now no longer has a need to feel inferior as he/she feels good about who they are.

The victim no longer feels the victim for the same reason. They realize it is not their problem and they are still a great person - regardless of what the bully says or does. When people feel insecure, they often have a need to control others in some way.

The stubborn person can go with the flow, as they feel happy regardless of the outcome. The outcome does not determine how they feel; they do.

The person who fails to stand up for themselves does so within their mind. They have to be strong with themselves to process the information in a way that is going to work for them.

How Do You Do This?

Know what your good points are.

If you are unsure on how to do this, "Get To Know Yourself" and "Become a Great Person" are a good read.

When you know what your good points are, and start to love the person you are, you are able to process what is happening in your world in a far better way.

Forever strive to be a better person and to feel self-fulfilled.