Are You A Giver or a Taker?

While you may be quick to answer "I'm a giver", most people only give when it suits them or when they feel they may get something for their giving.

At work, employees are generally "takers" thinking about what they can get out of their boss or how much money they can earn. They only do what they have to and are recognised by showing little enthusiasm and little willingness to help either the employer or the customer. They are forever whinging about their work.

The boss or manager is a "taker" when they use their employees without giving anything back. They hold the attitude "I'm the boss and I tell them what to do". Some bosses are never happy regardless of how hard the employee works. They hold the opinion the employee is lucky to have a job.

Most people who work in shops are takers. They're only interested in getting your money.

When things get financially tight, they become even bigger ‘takers' as they need the money.

Many business people I meet at networking functions only consider themselves and their needs. They continually talk about how good they are, what their product does and why people should buy from them.

At one of these functions, I spoke with a lady for around 15 minutes. At the end of the conversation, while I knew all about her, she never took the time to ask my name, what I did, my business frustrations or why I was at the event.

It is easy to be a "taker" in a relationship. Relationships start out with both people giving (to impress each other) and, when they become complacent and no longer need to impress, they become ‘takers'. They identify what they can get out of the relationship by doing their own thing or expecting their partner to do what they want.

A "taker" often says or thinks "What's in it for me?" and "What can I get out of this?"

You may even be thinking ‘takers' are somewhat selfish.

Identify where you are a "taker".

Now ...

Practice being a "giver"

In the business world, things are very much changing. The new model is one of giving.

"How can I make my customer's day better, more enjoyable?"

"What can I do for them or share with them that can make their day and business more productive?"

What can you do for your customers to make their experience of dealing with you one to remember?

How can you add value?

Identify what you can give to your work. What can you do to help your boss out without being asked? How can you go that extra mile and give something back to your place of employment?

If you are a boss or manager, what can you do to show you value your employees? You may praise them, give them something or reward them in some way. Research shows people who are rewarded, praised and valued perform to a higher level.

At a networking event, ask about the other person. Find out their frustrations and offer ways to help - perhaps by sending them a free report.

How can you contribute in your relationship? What can you do to make your partner's day (or your parent's day) even better or more special?

When you give unconditionally (that means not wanting or needing anything back), the person receiving often wants to reciprocate so they give. When you receive, you feel great so you give ... and the cycle continues.

Here's a challenge: Do something today for someone you don't know. You may help an elderly person to complete a task or visit someone in hospital who is feeling lonely. You may send someone a report that can help them overcome some problem they are having.

Note how you feel and how the person you are helping feels.

Giving unconditionally releases good fell chemicals (endorphins) within your body - which in return raises your immune system.

Leave a message below on how you have helped someone. It would be great to share how you contribute to helping others and the responses you receive.

Do You Fail To Get Things Done?

We live in a fast-paced world. There are so many things to do and get done.

I recently gave 22 people attending one of my seminars some "homework" to do before the session the following week. Eight had completed it.

These were people who wanted to be at the seminar and who wanted to improve their life.

When asked "Why?" they had failed to complete it, the answers included:
"I didn't have enough time"
"I had a really busy week"
"I forgot all about it" - at least they were honest!

This lead us into a discussion on why people don't do what they know they should be doing. Things like:

• making that phone call to a potential client,
  
• exercising,
  
• eating healthy meals,
  
• getting a medical check-up or some health
• problem checked out,
  
• improving some part of your life,
  
• quitting a bad habit,
  
• leaving a failed relationship,
  
• quitting a bad job,
  
• telling someone how you feel.
  

So, why don't people do what they know they should?

To explain, let us go back to some basics.

When you have something to do, there is both a positive feeling to doing it and a negative. As your programming begins from day 1, your mind instantly adds all the positives and negatives accumulated over the entire of your life and gives you a net feeling. Where the positives outweigh the negatives, there is a great chance you will do what you planned, whereas, if the negatives outweigh the positives, you won't.

For example, you know you should exercise daily but you don't. If you know you should and you haven't, why haven't you?

While you fail to exercise, there is a bigger need not to exercise than what there is to exercise. Your mind has come up with lots of great reasons as to why you should avoid it. Reasons like:
"I'm too tired"
"It's too cold"
"I don't have the time"
"I never feel or see any improvement"

Thoughts like these hold you back. They sabotage what you would like to achieve.

The Solution

When you know you should be doing something, either:
• increase the need to do it,
• eliminate the negatives against doing it,
• or both.

In our example, increasing the need to exercise by focusing on the benefits of exercising. It helps tone muscles, increases fitness, burns energy (and fat), releases good feel chemicals and is good for stress release to name a few.

Quite often, if you make the need great enough, you will do it.

If this fails to work ...

Identify and eliminate the negatives (as listed above).

"I'm too tired" - this often occurs because you fail to exercise. Exercise helps you to have more energy.

"It's too cold" - hardest part here is getting changed. Once you begin your program, you will feel great. Push past the negative knowing there will be a positive to follow.

"I don't have the time" - if health and fitness is important, you will make the time. Grab your diary and make an appointment with yourself for 5 days a week to exercise. This is your time. Being fitter and healthier will mean you are more productive at work.

"I never feel or see any improvement" - if this is the case, research why. You may need to consult with a professional in the health and fitness area to find the answer. Remember, they work with people every day who have trouble achieving the desired result so they know what works and what doesn't.

While I have related the above example to exercise, you can relate it to any area where you are not achieving or creating action.

What's stopping you from ringing that client, eating healthy meals, exercising, giving up that bad habit, telling someone how you feel, quitting that bad job or relationship or improving some part of your life?

When a part of you knows you should create the action that is in your best interest, make it a priority, build the positives and, if that fails, identify and eliminate the negatives. Through doing this, you are taking control.

If you are not sure on how to do this, please feel free to contact us and we can guide you through it.