Wednesday 24 February 2010

Are You A Giver or a Taker?

While you may be quick to answer "I'm a giver", most people only give when it suits them or when they feel they may get something for their giving.

At work, employees are generally "takers" thinking about what they can get out of their boss or how much money they can earn. They only do what they have to and are recognised by showing little enthusiasm and little willingness to help either the employer or the customer. They are forever whinging about their work.

The boss or manager is a "taker" when they use their employees without giving anything back. They hold the attitude "I'm the boss and I tell them what to do". Some bosses are never happy regardless of how hard the employee works. They hold the opinion the employee is lucky to have a job.

Most people who work in shops are takers. They're only interested in getting your money.

When things get financially tight, they become even bigger ‘takers' as they need the money.

Many business people I meet at networking functions only consider themselves and their needs. They continually talk about how good they are, what their product does and why people should buy from them.

At one of these functions, I spoke with a lady for around 15 minutes. At the end of the conversation, while I knew all about her, she never took the time to ask my name, what I did, my business frustrations or why I was at the event.

It is easy to be a "taker" in a relationship. Relationships start out with both people giving (to impress each other) and, when they become complacent and no longer need to impress, they become ‘takers'. They identify what they can get out of the relationship by doing their own thing or expecting their partner to do what they want.

A "taker" often says or thinks "What's in it for me?" and "What can I get out of this?"

You may even be thinking ‘takers' are somewhat selfish.

Identify where you are a "taker".

Now ...


Practice being a "giver"

In the business world, things are very much changing. The new model is one of giving.

"How can I make my customer's day better, more enjoyable?"

"What can I do for them or share with them that can make their day and business more productive?"

What can you do for your customers to make their experience of dealing with you one to remember?

How can you add value?

Identify what you can give to your work. What can you do to help your boss out without being asked? How can you go that extra mile and give something back to your place of employment?

If you are a boss or manager, what can you do to show you value your employees? You may praise them, give them something or reward them in some way. Research shows people who are rewarded, praised and valued perform to a higher level.

At a networking event, ask about the other person. Find out their frustrations and offer ways to help - perhaps by sending them a free report.

How can you contribute in your relationship? What can you do to make your partner's day (or your parent's day) even better or more special?

When you give unconditionally (that means not wanting or needing anything back), the person receiving often wants to reciprocate so they give. When you receive, you feel great so you give ... and the cycle continues.

Here's a challenge: Do something today for someone you don't know. You may help an elderly person to complete a task or visit someone in hospital who is feeling lonely. You may send someone a report that can help them overcome some problem they are having.

Note how you feel and how the person you are helping feels.

Giving unconditionally releases good fell chemicals (endorphins) within your body - which in return raises your immune system.

Leave a message below on how you have helped someone. It would be great to share how you contribute to helping others and the responses you receive.

Monday 8 February 2010

Never Give Up

I was recently watching the Australian Open Tennis and one player gained my attention.

Her name is Jie Zheng and she was playing Maria Kirilenko. In several points, Maria would hit the ball down one side of the court, Jie would sprint across, just reach it in time to hit back. Maria would then hit the ball quickly to the other side of the court to which Jie would respond and sprint to make a return. After this happened four or five times, one got the feeling that Maria was going to easily win the point.

In fact, the opposite happened. Jie ended up winning the point, even when things seemed hopeless. And she did this frequently.

And what I began to notice was most of the top tennis players all had this ability.

It was inspirational stuff.

With a BIG message.

Keep persisting.

The problem is, most people give in - and way too soon.

They fail to chase that hard ball telling themselves "it's way too hard", "I'll will never make it" or "I'll conserve my energy for the next point".

Problem is, the next point often brings the same result.


Where do you give up?

Is it chasing that elusive interview?

Making that next phone call?

In your relationships?

Making that important sale after a string of "No's"?

When you do give in, what's your self talk?

Do you try and convince yourself you are doing the right thing by coming up with excuses? "It's too hard", "They're probably busy and won't want to talk to me", "My partner's not interested" and "They won't buy anyway".


Change Your Mindset

How important is it for you to win that point, to achieve your goal?

The more important it is, the more effort you will put into it.

Second, persistence pays off.

Research shows that, in sales, you have to ask for the order at least 5 times before receiving an affirmative to buy.

Let me give you a personal example.

At the start of my sales days, I was keen to get the company's products into a major outlet in Albury. The manager constantly told me that he was happy with my opposition's products and I was wasting my time even calling.

Whenever I was in Albury I continued to call on this manager and inform him of new products and ways our products could help his clients.

After 17 months, I still hadn't made a sale.

In the 18th month, he called me a ‘persistent little b---r' and said he was happy to put a small quantity of our product on the shelf to "see how it goes".

Within five months, he was one of my biggest distributors.

If something is important to you, find a way to make it work.

Like Thomas Edison who experimented with over 1,000 different filaments for light bulbs before he found one that worked effectively. That's over 1,000 different experiments. When interviewed by a paper, the interviewer asked why he hadn't given up when he had over 500 failures. Obviously, it wasn't going to work.

Thomas reportedly replied "Every one that doesn't work brings me closer to the one that will".

How many experiments would you have been prepared to do to get the light bulb to work?

Where have you persisted and it's paid off? Let me know below in the comments.