A Time For Giving

Are you ready for Christmas?

More importantly, are you looking forward to Christmas?

With only a few days to go till Christmas, you will no doubt be busy with last minute shopping, clearing your work desk or preparing for visitors.

While Christmas is a time for giving and a time for sharing, it can also be one of the most stressful times of the year. There is the stress of buying the right presents, the financial stress, the stress of preparing Christmas lunch and the stress of having all the family and guests visiting. There can be so much to do and so much to prepare.

Some will be spending Christmas by themselves or without a loved one. Others will have a baby in the home or young children and they will all enjoy the anticipation, the big smiles and 5:00am wake-up as eager little ones arise to see if Santa has been. One of the greatest joys is seeing young children opening their presents.

Regardless of your situation, enjoy the time. As life is about choices, you have the choice as to how you process Christmas and what you want to get out of it. You can make it a depressing time by focusing on the negatives or you can make it a happy joyous occasion by focusing on the positives.

As an extra, to help make the World a better place, do something special for someone this Christmas. Make the time to add some pleasure to someone's life. It may be giving a present to a needy person, giving a hamper to a family in need or it may be simply making a phone call to someone you haven't spoken to in ages.

You will be surprised at how much joy you can receive from the power of helping and giving. For example, a friend is inviting four people who each live alone to her home for Christmas lunch so they will be able to celebrate with others rather than spend the day by themselves.

What a great gesture - and think of the joy this will give to all.

Here's the great part of giving:

When you give, serotonin (a good feel chemical) is released in your body. The person giving experiences a rise in serotonin as does the person receiving. When you observe someone giving to another, you also receive an increase in serotonin.

What can you do to add some joy to someone's Christmas ... and life?

That's Not How I See It!

We all see things differently.

What's right for one is not necessarily right for another.

I was consulting with an 18 year old man to help him overcome a relationship problem. After discussing past relationships, he made a comment:

"I would like you to know I am currently in a long term relationship."

How would you define ‘long-term'?

I thought to myself "An 18 years olds definition of ‘long-term' will be interesting". So I asked:

"Can you please define ‘long-term' for me?"

He replied "Three months".

That certainly gave me another perspective. To him, 3 months was a long time to be in relationship - which, interestingly, defines his outlook on relationships.

Other examples of perception:

(a) Someone you are speaking to on the phone says "I have to go. I will ring you back shortly".

Define ‘shortly'.

When this recently happened to me, it took the caller 24 hours to call me back.

That is not my definition of ‘shortly'.



(b) "This won't take long".

How many minutes is long?

A friend was helping me out. They said they had to do another job ‘that won't take long' and then they'll be back to help. They were gone for 6 hours!



(c) "This is a big function".

How big is ‘big'?

A person hiring me to speak at their conference made this comment. When asked to define ‘big', they responded "Thirty six people".

That is not what I would call 'big'.



(d) "I'm an A-Grade tennis player".

I was once told this by a friend. When we played a game I had trouble defining what A-Grade was or how she had come to this conclusion as I rated her more like C-Grade.

Maybe she played in a small country town where she was one of the better players and she did play A-Grade!



(e) "That item cost me a lot of money".

How much is ‘a lot'?

When asked to define it, the person said "$37".

While this may be a lot of money to some, it is pittance to others.



(f) "I'll be home early".

This was said by a teenager.

How would you define 'early'?

He arrived home at 4:40am stating he was home early!



Ok. I'm sure you now get the picture.

I'm interested in your feedback. Please go to our blog and leave some examples you have of perception. When you arrive on the page, scroll to the bottom and fill in the relevant details.



Getting Perception Right

All too often we take what people say to be the truth.

It is the truth. It is their truth. Our truth can be totally different.

As everyone perceives things differently, it is important to gain a definition of their perception. This creates clarity in your mind.

For example, in the case of "I have to go. I will ring you back shortly", I ask the person to define ‘shortly' so I can plan what I do. I may also enquire "If I haven't heard from you by (this time), are you happy for me to give you a call?"

With the teenager, you may definitely like to know a time so you are not waiting up!

We know when we get it wrong because we say "I thought you meant ... ".