When the news came through last Friday that Michael Jackson had died, there was a part of me that was surprised and a part that wasn't.
After all, you can't abuse your body the way he did over many years and expect to live a long life.
The sad part is that someone with so much talent has died at such a young age - well, to me 50 is young!
The same could be said for Heath Ledger and many other stars who have either died or been forced out of their profession.
Most endure a common problem. While they have fame, they do not have the ability to handle the fame.
We often see this with many young stars - whether it is in the sporting arena or in the arts, once they are seen to perform, the pressure to continue performing is extreme. Many fail to cope and resort to alcohol and drugs.
While these stars work on their performance, they fail to work on how to deal with the fame and fortune.
So, how does this relate to you?
Glad you asked!
Who You Are Not
We grow up to learn that your performance reveals who you are. If you win, you are a winner. If you lose, you are a loser and no-one will like you. How often have you heard "Everyone loves a winner".
The aim is to win at all costs as this means you will be liked.
The problem is, you will only be liked while you are winning.
There is a BIG difference between your performance and who you are.
In fact, there is little correlation between who you are and your performance.
A good example is the many elite footballers that are in trouble with the law for sexual assault. While they are good at their sport, they obviously fall short in respecting others.
Another example is people who do exceptionally well in a chosen field and then think they are superior to others. They get caught up in all the hype and begin thinking they are a great person because of their performance. Wrong. Their ego is telling them they are great but the way they treat others shows they are very insecure.
The Solution
Separate "performance" from "self".
If one of your friends was competing in a race, are you going to love them more if they win? If you answer "Yes" to this, you have some serious ego problems.
Are you going to love them less if they lose or come last?
The answer is "No". You love them for who they are, not for how they perform.
People love you for who you are, not how you perform. If they love you for how you perform you will have some problems, as they will only be there so long as you continue to win or be the star. They are in love with your performance rather than you the person.
As Elvis Presley once said: "I'll never know whether a woman loves me ... or Elvis Presley."
If you are aspiring to be someone, the good news is: you already are. All you have to do is ask the people who love you.
Develop the talents you would ideally like to have. Become the best person you can possibly be.
It would have been interesting to see how Michael Jackson and Heath Ledger would have dealt with the challenges of stardom if they had have taken the time to learn the required life skills.
Action Plan
Work on you the person.
What are the traits you need to have to be the person you can possibly be?
What are the buttons others push or the situations you react to? These show you the areas you need to work on.
